A Gender Story

It's a cute one. Let me set the stage. I was at a friend's house last Sunday and her housekeeper came over with her six-year old son. I was on the phone with a friend but that didn't prevent us from engaging in a nonverbal exchange involving our eyebrows. He walked over to the window and stood there looking out.

I got off the phone and joined him for a peek.

Me: Hey, what're you lookin' at out there?

Him: Nothing.

Me: Sounds fun. What's your name?

Him: Kamon. (or something like that)

Me: I'm Catherine.

I put my hand out to shake his. With his mouth a little opened, he began scanning my face and my hair. Him: Are you a boy or a girl?

Me: A girl. Why?

Him: Your hair.

Me: What about it?

Him: Girls have long hair.

Me: I don't.

I was enjoying this so I decided to get into his head a little bit to see where this all came from. I only had a few minutes.

Me: What else about me makes you think I'm a boy?

Him: Your eyebrows.

Me: (Laughing. I'd never heard that one before.) My eyebrows?! Really? What else?

Him: (Studying my face.) Your mouth.

Me: My mouth? Ok. What else?

Him: (Looking me up and down.) Your pants. Girls are supposed to wear dresses.

Me: Who told you that?  He shrugged.

Me: What else?

Him: Your shirt.

Me: Wanna see something else?

I was thoroughly enjoying this. By now I was just fucking with him. This is my response to this stifling society that forces people into places they don't want to be. Anyway, I was wearing a long-sleeve shirt and so I revealed my watch to him. His eyes got bigger.

Him: (Astonished.) That's a boy wa- A boy-man watch.

Me: And you know what else? (Pause. Whispering.) I don't have a purse. He about fell out. His eyes bugged out in utter shock. Just then, I reached into my back pocket for my wallet, aware of the fact that this was going to just throw him overboard.

Him: That's a man's wallet!

Me: Yup. But I'm a girl.

At this point, I decided to go into sports. I was curious to see what he thought of girls' involvement in them. When I told him I played basketball for eight years, he started talking about how he broke his wrist playing basketball. And that he wouldn't play again. I showed him my injury from softball and told him that I still played. Just then, his mother had to go.

Right when I was trying to convince him that he could still play basketball. Oh well. You can't save them all. I can try, though. My gender class enjoyed the story. And I'm enjoying the role I found myself in of being that girl who appears to walk the gender line of ambiguity. I'll take on the race one, too. But for years, the gender thing tortured me. Long hair? Give me a break. I hated being perceived as a man -- despite the fact that I knew that it was the perceiver's social breeding that instilled such strict gender rules. Thank god I got over that one. I'm happy to attempt a redefinition of the feminine gender, even though it's tough. It is interesting though what effects it has on sexuality, as well. Maybe I should just write a paper. If anything, I should just go find some more kids to confuse. Just kidding. I'm not that bad. But it would be fun.