All I Wanted Was Some Lettuce

I love a salad. A really big, meaty, full-of-protein-and-all-that-stuff salad. And, of course, it's got to have Paul Newman's Light Balsamic Vinaigrette  dressing (which they have here).

I have mostly chosen to the go the plastic bag route, because the sight of little worms and things is a bit jarring when I know I'm about to devour it. I know it's all natural and organic, but I just don't want to eat bugs. The dirt is fine. I get that. But I don't trust myself to wash it thoroughly enough to remove the living things. The other night, I had decided to choose the non-bag stuff, determined to clean it, confident that there would be no bugs.

There were bugs.There were two, actually. Two little worm things were just chillin' up in there apparently not concerned they were about to be eaten. Not fazed by the natural progression of things, I continued washing as thoroughly as I could. And then I ate the salad, which included hard-boiled eggs, tuna, feta cheese. MMM.

The lettuce didn't last long, because there were even more bugs and dirt hiding really deeply in there. So lettuce was on the list the last time Meredith and I headed to the store. Lettuce in a bag.

Yep, that's a spider in the bag. Of lettuce.

Meredith actually noticed it first. Surprisingly, I didn't jump back and scream. I just stood there, stunned, looking at the arachnid hanging out in the greens. Moving. I told her to take a picture with her handy camera phone, then promptly forgot everything after that. Except for the little things on its legs that kind of looked like propellers. Meredith never saw anything like it before. Had never seen a spider in a bag o' lettuce.

Nor had I.