It’s Not Happening

I went from just two days ago not being able to write enough. I wrote two pages of the short story I'm working on. I have no way of knowing whether or not it's bullshit. I've been writing in my journal. I've been constructing sentences in my head for various reasons to be determined later.

But now. I can't write. I feel empty. I have two choices: 1. either write with everything I have, whether it's a story, a conclusion to an article, a poem (I've only written one poem in my life, actually; I just thought it sounded good there); or 2. write nothing because if you do, it will be half-assed. I'm feeling like the latter at this moment. I hoped seeing the blogger screen would snap me out of it. But, alas, it's just another blank screen. How about a lighter note?

I'm leaving for California exactly one week from Monday. I'm not sure of what my whereabouts will be that first week but that second week I will be spending in preparation for my birthday. The way I see it, I've got to really say "farewell" to my 20s. What a rush they were. How much I've changed. And then how much I've pretty much stayed the same. For instance, you know that Mary came and visited and that Paige is here.

Well, it was interesting how a couple of my friends here were very eager to know what I was like 11 years and six years ago. So they asked Paige and Mary. Why did the word "naive" come out of their mouths almost simultaneously?

Mary was speaking in past tense, though. Paige still thinks I'm naive. Then she changed the word. To "innocent." Ok. I'm innocent. Tell that to the NYPD.

Anwyay, I've changed and I've stayed the same during the last decade, but, nevertheless, it's got to be a party-type week, so I will be available for drinks every night. I'm looking forward to getting a break from New York.

This is the longest span of time I've been here and not being in school is making me way too hyper-aware of the goings on in my head. It's not a pleasant place sometimes. Hell, most times. So I'm looking forward to taking a breather: to kicking John's ass in basketball; to watching affordable theatre; to DRIVING(!!!); to eating at Banderra's; to studying at the Naked Lounge; and to just hanging with all of the friends I will not have seen in about seven months.

So I'm looking forward to it. And of course you've all seen my birthday evite by now. This will probably be the last party I have there. I figured seven in a row is a bit too much, even for me. But I couldn't pass up the 30th. So that's that.