Lingua Aussie: I Said 'Brekkie'

Australians would shorten an abbreviation if they could. In fact, I'm sure there are examples of such a thing. When I come across one, you'll be the first to know. It has been one of my things to absolutely not shorten things like they do. And it's not because of national pride. I simply believe myself incapable of pulling off such masterful turns of abbreviated phrase as an Australian can. I haven't that unique accent that makes it sound, well, normal.

However, now I'd like to discuss what happens when it's so much a part of a nation's language that I have no choice in the matter.

I went to McDonald's Macca's (yes, Macca's) this weekend. I know. I know. I'm not proud and I don't make a habit of it. But I mean, a juicy Sausage McMuffin? Anyway, I'd seen an ad for  the new "Brekkie [breakfast] Roll," and because I'm a total slave to marketing, I decided to make a game-time decision and forgo the Sausage McMuffin. Damn game-time decisions.

After I made the decision, I then panicked slightly at the prospect of having to actually say "brekkie." There it was on the menu board in black letters -- BREKKIE ROLL. And I couldn't very well go against what it said on the menu. Could I? In the split second I had before opening my mouth, I decided I couldn't. And, with Meredith maintaining a generous silence, I said "brekkie roll" like I meant it.

I will never order one of them ever again. And not only so I don't have to say "brekkie," but also because they put ketchup tomato sauce on it. Foul.