Rememory

I'm feeling a little anxious about the end of the year. I took a little trip down memory lane just a bit ago. And you know what? 2003 sucked ass. Period.

I'm ready for it to hang itself. From the strongest noose from the highest tree. It all started going downhill right from the start, although it didn't seem like it at the beginning. Despite my trials and tribulations, more so trials, I wouldn't change any of it. It's all in me. I'm at the front of some things that will be challenging to face. I don't know yet how to deal with it all, but that will certainly come in time. I have no doubt about that. All I can do is be happy about the fact that I'm leaving this year with a smile on my face. I couldn't find that just a couple of months ago. In fact, it was missing throughout most of the year.

And now, with just 18 and a half hours to go till this particular cycle is complete, I feel ready to move on. To make everything a memory. To give to it all, them all, an abstract identity that will represent them till my death. Whatever. I'm not putting any kind of pressure on this next year.

But I don't think I've ever been so thankful to see a year end. I'm coming up on the anniversary of its demise, its tumult beginning very soon after the clock struck midnight PST. And she impacted so much of the trip I took. So I will be dancing with my eyes straight ahead, into only myself at midnight tonight. The way it's gonna have to be for now. I'm gonna try to get some sleep.