Static Cling

I damn near electrocuted myself tonight. I need to understand more what that was about. I spent some of the evening contending with the schizophrenic heating situation in my apartment. I know most of the folks on the East Coast have this problem. It's cold outside, so of course the heater is going to remain off. As the temperature dropped inside, I went and put a sweater on and excavated my slippers from under my bed. That's better. But a few hours later, the heat comes on. And it gets uncomfortably warm. Stiflingly so. But I kept the sweater and slippers on. The shorts I was wearing made for a suitable ventilation system. Then bedtime came. And so time to take off the sweater. If I hadn't been grounded on the floor, then I surely would have died. The sound that emanated from my sweater's cling to my undershirt was deafening. Snap, crackle, and pop it went as I lifted the grey knit over my head. But it didn't end there. I put the sweater over my chair, afraid to touch it. That's when I noticed that my shirt was still drawn to it. Both were still making noise. I hear this is what fabric softener is for. But who can be bothered?