The Thing With People

People are everywhere. This is nothing new. Everyone meanders in and out of everyone else, and it seems that there are unwritten rules to make this flow rather smoothly most days. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I go with it, as I am one out of everyone else. But there are some days when nothing goes right. When it seems the stars are out of whack and everyone gets hit with the dumb stick upon waking. This was one of those days. The R train to Brooklyn comes at 9 a.m. I try to catch it on mornings I'm at my house. Whether I get up at 7 (rare) or 8:30 (more often than not), I usually have luck. I caught it this morning in one of those perfect fashions when the door opens just as I swipe my metro card. But before the perfection, I had to contend with an idiot who just had to pick up the nickel or dime or penny or whatever it is he dropped just before the turnstile. The Union Street station gets crowded at this time and because of this, neither he nor I were the only ones around. Which meant that there was little space for me to pass him as he was bent over, ass in the air to retrieve a pointless to me coin. "What an idiot," I thought as I decided to go to his right, which would leave me with just enough time to catch the train that had just arrived and that would definitely not wait for me unless I got my ass through. But then he moved. To his right. And at times like these, when it seems that common sense flies away, I take matters into my own hands. I teach little lessons in common sense by letting the stupid people know that their actions have interrupted the flow of someone else. I bump into them. And this is what I did with the coin dude. Just a quick nudge to let him know that he was an idiot and in my way. We both made the train. But I got on first. I take the R train one stop to Pacific with what seems like the rest of the world. And, like clockwork, the D train arrives. I look for a spot that might allow me to get on first, so I can try to sit in one of the few remaining seats. It worked that way for me this morning. And I spotted a seat just as I stepped on the train. With my head down, I went right for it. But I soon noticed that there was someone else, coming in the opposite direction with her head down bolting to my seat. And just as I pulled up next to it, she sat down. "All right then," I said out loud over my music. With a sideways grin on my face, I stood in front of the doors and pulled out my book. But before I started reading, I made sure she saw me. We looked right at each other, her dumb brown eyes peering out from behind the glare of her stupid round lenses. She wasn't much darker than I and she had a few years on me. I didn't care though. I wanted to pull her up by her neck, give her one good knee to her potato, and step on her back as I took the seat that she stole. I shook my head with that grin still on my face. Had she not been so greedy, I would have let her take the damn seat. But it became a competition for a morning respite before work, and I lost. And all I could do was grin. And the madness didn't stop there. People gather in groups in the worst places in this city. At the top or bottom of the only set of stairs; in front of a turnstile; on a corner; in front of subway doors. When I left the D train, there were two people standing in front of the open doors not caring about the people getting on or off. Common sense. I had to teach them a lesson. With a quick nudge to a back, I stepped off and shook my head. Sometimes this city annoys me. Or is it the people? Maybe the two don't mix. And this was all before work. It warranted a break-time conversation over chai with Chris. He had a similar day yesterday. But we differ in one respect. He won't nudge people. I don't care who the hell it is; they need to know they're stupid. It's so annoying that it's worth a blog post.