To Life, Indeed

As mentioned, I attended the Broadway revival of Fiddler on the Roof Wednesday night. And I have to disagree completely with the NYTheatre.com review. But before I get to that, I'm going to vent my frustrations about the row full of teenage girls who sat two rows in front of me.

Now, had I written last night, my words would probably take on a more venemous nature, as I was pissed by the end of the show. But now that I have had some distance, I'm a bit more calm. There were literally 25+ of them sitting side-by-side in their little row of teenage angst. Whose bright idea it was to bring them, I'm not sure.

I'm all for introducing the youth to live theatre, but only if they're mature enough to sit their little asses in the seats for two hours and 45 minutes. The first sign of them came when I heard one of them rustling through a bag of chips.

To me, it's common sense to refrain from doing such a thing during a show, but I can't totally blame them if they purchased the chips from the theatre's snack bar. Perhaps legislation should be passed. Don't sell food that comes in noise-making packages at shows. This is one reason why I don't go see movies anymore, as is the $10 price tag and my new Netflix subscription.

Back to the Bettys. Because I thought this was just going to be a one-time offense, I was able to ignore it after a few seconds and reestablish my connection to Tevye and his girls. But then I heard a "sshhhh." You don't want to do this in a theatre either! But the girls made it happen. I now hated the girls. When halftime came, I watched them all with much disdain, wishing they would all take headers off the mezzanine. I wanted to walk up to their chaperone and grab her by the collar. But I couldn't find her. So I went back to my book while awaiting the second half.When that started, things got worse. Much worse. I watched them whisper to one another. I heard two of their cell phones go off. And there were now more of them eating chips! More "sshhhhhs."

I leaned forward in my seat, hoping one of them would feel my gaze and turn around to cower before my eyes. But that didn't happen. I thought of leaving my seat in search of the house manager who I would yell at. I would suggest the legislation, and then I would drag him or her by the collar to stand watch over the raucous hooligans, threatening them with death if they didn't pipe down and allow the other, more polite, theatregoers to enjoy the show. But I didn't. Why should I miss out in an attempt to quelch the noise?

So I settled for dividing my time between enjoying the show and fantasizing about smashing each of their heads together like melons, hoping that would once and for all shut them up. Fantasizing about that was all I could do.

When the show ended, I applauded with the rest of the folks and then sped out of there to avoid any felonious acts I might have performed given the opportunity.  I feel better. Now, to the show. First of all, and I'm no theatre critic, but I don't think it's fair to compare a revival to an original. That's just me. Having said that, Alfred Molina was just fine as Tevye. He was believable and genuine in his performance of an old-school (or is that skool?) Jew clinging to tradition while watching everything around him fall out of the ordinary.

I believed his struggle and empathized with his humble willingness to look outside of his comfort zone and find a happy medium. You go, Alfred. And everyone else was just fine, too. Ok, so I agree with the review I read about Motel (pronounce that with a short 'o'). He was a bit over the top, but, of course, he was an audience favorite as a result of his buffoonery. But he was likable enough and, what's most important, I certainly didn't feel like smashing his head up against something like a melon.

I did want a bit more dancing in "To Life" and "The Wedding Celebration," but I was more than satisfied with the choreography overall. And the set kicked ass. Autumn leaves on the floor, (my favorite color) blue walls in the background, bare trees and a good use of lanterns that hung from somewhere in the ceiling. The orchestra was onstage, too, with their ways being lit by the aforementioned lanterns. I hope that the unique elements it offered -- mostly bass -- are included in the soundtrack. Whenever I attend musicals, I always want to pick up a baritone again.

So Fiddler is a hit in my book. I want to see it again. I probably will eventually. Good luck to Mr. Molina on Sunday night -- the Tony's at 8 pm on CBS -- and any other Fiddler nominees. And may unruly teenage girls stay away from the theatre. To life, indeed.